How do I deal with anger as a Muslim?
Pause, change your state and calm down before you speak or act. Islamic advice on anger is practical: seek refuge in Allah, change your position, make wudu, stay quiet and walk away if you need to. Anger itself is a human feeling, not a sin. What matters is what you do with it, and if it keeps getting out of hand, getting help is a wise step.
Anger is human, self-control is strength
A man once asked the Prophet ﷺ for advice, and he told him not to become angry, repeating it each time the man asked again (Sahih al-Bukhari 6116). He also said, "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger" (Sahih al-Bukhari 6114). The Quran praises people with this quality:
What to do in the moment
- Seek refuge in Allah. The Prophet ﷺ said that if an angry man said, "I seek refuge with Allah from Satan," his anger would go away (Sahih al-Bukhari 3282).
- Change position. He said that if one of you is angry while standing, he should sit, and if that does not help, he should lie down (Sunan Abi Dawud 4782).
- Make wudu. Many scholars recommend it, based on a report that anger comes from the devil and is put out with water (Sunan Abi Dawud 4784). Cool water on your face and arms also helps your body settle.
- Stay quiet. Words said in anger are hard to take back, so say nothing until you are calm.
- Leave the situation. Step outside, walk, or breathe slowly for a few minutes.
After you calm down
Once you can think clearly, decide how to respond. If you were wrong, apologise. If someone wronged you, speak calmly and clearly, or let it go if that is better. Pardoning is a quality Allah loves. If your words or actions hurt someone, put it right as soon as you can. See What should I say when I'm angry as a Muslim?
Looking after yourself in the long run
- Notice your triggers, such as tiredness, hunger, stress or certain people.
- Sleep, eat regularly and exercise, since all three affect your mood.
- Keep up your prayers and remembrance of Allah, which bring steadiness.
- Plan a calm routine for known triggers, such as taking a short walk before a difficult conversation.
If anger often leads to shouting, breaking things or hurting others, or if you are afraid of losing control, seek professional help. That is not a lack of faith, and a counsellor can teach skills that complement your faith. If anyone is in danger, contact the emergency services straight away. See Is going to therapy a lack of faith in Allah?
Anger is often linked to pressure, so you may find it useful to look at stress as well. See How do I deal with stress as a Muslim?
- The strong person controls himself or herself in anger (Sahih al-Bukhari 6114).
- Seek refuge in Allah, change your position, make wudu and stay quiet.
- Calm down first, then speak, apologise or pardon.
- If anger keeps getting out of control, seek professional help.
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