How do I handle my child's tantrums as a Muslim parent?
Stay calm, keep your child safe, and wait out the storm before you teach. Tantrums are a normal stage of growing up, not a sign of bad faith or bad parenting. Islam asks you to control your own anger first, respond with mercy, and guide your child once they've calmed down.
Tantrums are normal
Toddlers and young children feel big emotions before they have words for them. Hunger, tiredness and frustration all spill out as screaming, crying or throwing things. Your child isn't being sinful; young children aren't held accountable. Your job is to help them learn self-control over time, the same way you would teach them to walk.
Control your own anger first
A man asked the Prophet ﷺ for advice, and he answered, "Do not become angry," repeating it several times (Sahih al-Bukhari 6116). He also said that the strong person isn't the one who wins a wrestling match, but the one who controls himself when angry (Sahih al-Bukhari 6114). Allah praises the people:
Practical ways to do that: say A'udhu billahi min ash-shaytan ir-rajim, lower your voice, sit down, or step back for a moment if your child is safe. See What should I say when I'm angry as a Muslim?
During the tantrum
- Keep them safe. Move them away from danger or a busy shop aisle.
- Use few words. "I'm here. You're upset. I'll help when you're calm."
- Don't give in to screaming. If the answer was no, keep it no, kindly. Otherwise they learn that tantrums work.
- No hitting or shouting. It teaches the exact behaviour you want to stop. See Is it haram to hit your children?
After the storm: teach
Once your child is calm, hug them and name the feeling: "You were really angry because we had to leave the park." Then show a better option, like saying "I'm angry" or taking deep breaths. Anas served the Prophet ﷺ for ten years as a boy and said he never once told him "Uff" or scolded him for things done or not done (Sahih al-Bukhari 6038). That patience is the model.
Prevent the next one too: regular meals, enough sleep, warnings before transitions, and less screen time before bed. For a fuller approach, see What is the Islamic way to discipline a child?
- Tantrums are a normal phase, not a faith problem.
- Calm your own anger first, as the Prophet ﷺ taught.
- Stay firm and kind; don't reward screaming.
- Teach feelings and better choices once your child is calm.
People also ask
How do I deal with a quarter-life crisis as a Muslim?
To deal with a quarter-life crisis as a Muslim, reconnect with your purpose, stop comparing yourself to others, and take small steady steps.
Read the full answer →How do I deal with perfectionism as a Muslim?
Deal with perfectionism as a Muslim by remembering Allah asks for your sincere best: the religion is easy, small deeds count, mistakes are human.
Read the full answer →How do I deal with nightmares as a Muslim?
Deal with nightmares as a Muslim by seeking refuge in Allah, spitting lightly left, turning over and not telling anyone. Bad dreams can't harm you.
Read the full answer →How do I support a Muslim friend with depression?
Yes, you can help a lot by listening without judging. What to say, what to avoid, encouraging treatment and what to do if you fear for their safety.
Read the full answer →How can Islam help with low self-esteem?
Yes, Islam can help a lot. Your worth comes from Allah, who honored every human, not from looks or likes. Humility isn't self-hatred.
Read the full answer →