How long is the mourning period in Islam?
Usually three days, except for a widow, who observes four months and ten days. After a death, relatives may show outward mourning for up to three days. A widow observes a longer waiting and mourning period. Sadness itself has no time limit; the rules are about outward mourning, not feelings.
Three days for everyone else
When news of her father's death arrived, Umm Habibah waited until the third day, then perfumed herself and explained: "I would not have been in need of this, had I not heard the Prophet ﷺ say: it is not legal for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for more than three days for any dead person except her husband, for whom she should mourn for four months and ten days" (Sahih al-Bukhari 1280).
So for a parent, child, sibling or friend, formal mourning, such as stopping normal adornment and receiving condolence visitors, lasts up to three days. You can still miss them, cry and make dua for them for years. Visits to give condolences usually take place in these three days. See What should I say to a grieving Muslim family?
Four months and ten days for a widow
A widow's waiting period, called iddah, is set in the Quran:
During this time, scholars say the widow avoids adornment, perfume and decorative clothing, and normally stays in her home. A pregnant widow's period ends when she gives birth (Quran 65:4). Many scholars allow her to go out in the daytime for real needs such as work, medical care or buying essentials. The rules are discussed further in Can I travel during my iddah?
What about customs like the 40th day?
In some cultures families mark the third, seventh or fortieth day with gatherings. These customs are not in the Quran or the Sunnah, so nobody is required to do them. Making dua, giving charity for the person who died and visiting the family are always welcome.
Going back to normal life
- Work and school: most people take a few days off. In Western countries, ask about bereavement leave.
- Daily prayers and fasting: continue as usual.
- Grief: it comes in waves. If it stays heavy for a long time, talk to someone you trust or a counsellor.
Grief does not follow a timetable, and Islam does not ask you to hide it. See How do I deal with grief as a Muslim? The same limits apply when the person who died was not Muslim. See Can I mourn a loved one at Christmas as a Muslim?
- Outward mourning lasts up to three days (Sahih al-Bukhari 1280).
- A widow's period is four months and ten days (Quran 2:234).
- Sadness and dua for the dead have no time limit.
- Third-, seventh- and fortieth-day gatherings are customs, not requirements.
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