Is it haram to hit your children?
Yes, hurting or abusing your children is haram. The Prophet ﷺ never hit a woman or a servant, was famously gentle with children, and he taught mercy and gentleness above all. Many scholars today say parents shouldn't hit children at all, and in some places, like Scotland and Wales, smacking is also against the law.
The Prophet's ﷺ example
'A'isha said the Messenger of Allah ﷺ "never beat anyone with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant," except in battle (Sahih Muslim 2328). Anas, who served him from childhood, said: "I served the Prophet for ten years, and he never said to me, 'Uf'" and never blamed him for what he did or didn't do (Sahih al-Bukhari 6038).
When a man said he'd never kissed any of his ten children, the Prophet ﷺ replied: "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully" (Sahih al-Bukhari 5997). He also said: "Allah is kind and He loves kindness" (Sahih Muslim 2593).
What about the "seven and ten" hadith?
Some people quote the hadith "Command your children to pray when they become seven years old, and beat them for it when they become ten" (Sunan Abi Dawud 495) as permission to hit kids. That's a serious misreading:
- It's about prayer only, after three full years of gentle teaching. It isn't a general license for discipline.
- Classical scholars set strict limits: nothing that leaves a mark, causes injury or pain that lasts, never the face, and never in anger.
- Many contemporary scholars say that since hitting now harms children and breaks the law in many places, it shouldn't be used at all. There's no report of the Prophet ﷺ hitting a child.
Hitting a child in anger, slapping, using objects, or causing fear and injury is abuse. Islam forbids it, and it can be a crime. If you were hit as a child and are still hurting from it, that pain matters. See Do I have to forgive someone who abused me as a Muslim?
The law where you live
Scotland and Wales have banned smacking, as have many European countries. Rules differ in England, across US states and elsewhere, so check your local law. Islam asks you to respect the law of the country you live in. See Do I have to follow the laws of my country as a Muslim?
Discipline that actually works
- Calm down first: the Prophet ﷺ said the strong person is the one who controls himself when angry (Sahih al-Bukhari 6114).
- Clear, kind rules: explain what you expect and why.
- Natural consequences: lose screen time, make amends, fix what was broken.
- Praise good behavior more than you criticize bad behavior.
- Get help: parenting courses, your GP or pediatrician, or a family counselor if you feel overwhelmed.
Children who feel safe and loved are far more likely to love Islam too. See What if my child doesn't want to be Muslim?
- The Prophet ﷺ never struck a woman or servant and was gentle with children.
- Harming or abusing children is haram and can be a crime.
- The "seven and ten" hadith is about prayer and has strict limits.
- Gentle, consistent discipline is the sunnah way.
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