Is it wrong to feel relief when a difficult relative dies?

Why relief is so common

If a parent, sibling or relative was abusive, controlling, addicted or constantly hurtful, their death can bring a sudden sense of safety. You might also feel relief that a long illness is over, or that years of caregiving have ended. Relief often sits next to sadness, guilt, anger or numbness. All of this is a normal human response, and many people feel it without ever saying it out loud.

Allah judges actions, not passing feelings

You are not accountable for an emotion you didn't choose:

Interestingly, the Prophet ﷺ once described a death as bringing relief. When a funeral passed, he said the person was either "relieved or relieved of": a believer is relieved from the hardships of this world, while people, land, trees and animals are relieved of a wrongdoer (Sahih al-Bukhari 6512). So the idea that a death can bring relief to others is not foreign to Islam.

What to avoid

• Don't speak ill of the dead in public. The Prophet ﷺ said, "Do not abuse the dead, for they have reached what they sent forward" (Sahih al-Bukhari 1393). Talking privately with a therapist or trusted friend about what really happened is different, because it is for your healing.
• Don't celebrate. Showing joy at a funeral hurts other mourners and goes against Muslim manners.
• Don't judge their fate. Their final reckoning is with Allah alone.

Grieving a complicated relationship

Sometimes you grieve the relationship you never had more than the person themselves. That is real grief too. Tears and sadness are a mercy, as the Prophet ﷺ said when his son died: "The eyes shed tears and the heart grieves" (Sahih al-Bukhari 1303). See How do I deal with grief as a Muslim?

If the relative hurt you, you don't have to force forgiveness right away. See Do I have to forgive someone who abused me as a Muslim? And if other family members are still difficult, healthy limits remain allowed. See How do I set boundaries with toxic family as a Muslim?